Nooooooooooo!

"crazedclay: SBC murderer" (crazedclay)
02/12/2014 at 22:15 • Filed to: Rustzoned

Some of you, in fact quite a few of you probably recall last night's fairly epic Shakira... situation. Where that gif... Um... Dropped...

Well, this is not an update to that. This is an update to that post I had up about a certain very good looking and well documented 626 for those who are interested in the outcome.

OP: !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

So I went to see the car. The folks were absolutely on the up and up. Everything was disclosed. Stack of docs as thick as the air cleaner. This thing was so fucking clean. Like. Rolled off the lot clean. Enthused, Left the lovely retired husband and wife with my keys and a little security and took it for a drive.

The situation changed fairly abruptly. I understand that being 65 and driving a car for 30 years, you get to the point of learning to compensate for things. Like loose steering components. And you might even think to yourself that those things are absolutely in working order. But dear lord, you are probably incorrect. You have just learnt to compensate for the problem. IF you are 65 and have owned the same car for 30 years, get your mechanic to give the front end a shake more than once every two presidential terms. Please.

Anyhow. So I'm thinking to myself as I'm doodling the steering wheel in a 45 degree arc and not making much difference in track... "Tie rods, alignment. This is still doable. I still want this car. Oh look. A stop sign. I had better slow down. Perhaps even stop."

"Hah" says the feisty 626 as I tap the brakes. "You want brakes? Have ALL the brakes. No, there are no half brakes here, pussy." Slide slide slide slide modulate slide slide modulate slide stop, with the assistance of severe downshifting I don't think that 626 had ever experienced in it's life. Partially this is my fault, as I'm used to what the Dart has for brake force distribution and the like. Plus snow and more ice than Atlanta has seen in the last 65 years.

So now I'm thinking to myself "Hmm, tires and/or brakes, and some tie rods. This is getting lose lose rather quickly." "Time to pull over and check one more thing. The make or break thing."

Get out of the car. The admirably thus far rust free car. The car that I was still totally ready to say yes to even in light of some issues and possibly losing my money fixing it up. Because Mazdacar

And I reached under the car right by where the floor pan meets the wheel well....

I scruffled around. I caught something. Grabbed firm. And gave it a tug. And took a very big piece of floorpan back out from under the fucking goddamn car. So fucking close. I literally cried on the way back. Because I am a bitch like that sometimes, but also because I got rust in my eye.

Drive back to his and his wife's tastefully appointed retirement age home. Get out. hand him his Driver's floor pan and say thank but no thanks.

Do you think being friendzoned is bad? Gentlemen. Ladies (A few of you in attendance), you know this as sisterzoned.

Let me introduce you to the automotive equivalent. This is a fucking PSA.

This is Where you go see a prospective car. And you get to know it and think to yourself "Man, I could totally own the shit out of you. I'd even drive you Daily." And then you can see sunlight through the fucking driver's carpet.

That, my friends, is what I call #Rustzoned. And when you get rustzoned. Please don't try to salvage it. It'll just be hard on the both of you. Walk away. Just walk away. Because that bitch isn't worth being into.

DISCUSSION (8)

ihm96 > crazedclay: SBC murderer
02/12/2014 at 22:19

That sucks man :( did they not notice that you had pulled a piece out of the floor?

Luke's Dad Sold His 2000TL To Get a Sienna > crazedclay: SBC murderer
02/12/2014 at 22:20

I wanted to cry by the end of this article.

Slave2anMG > crazedclay: SBC murderer
02/12/2014 at 22:20

Kinja'd!!!

Great wisdom there, Weedhopper. Grady approves.

Bandit > crazedclay: SBC murderer
02/12/2014 at 22:21

Friend/Rustzoned... with my preference in cars and women I know those zones all too well.

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > crazedclay: SBC murderer
02/12/2014 at 22:22

My Shakira post wasn't even that epic.

How long have you been on here?

You know nothing CRAZEDCLAY

Kinja'd!!!

GeorgeyBoy > crazedclay: SBC murderer
02/12/2014 at 22:25

I have my fair share of rust stories. I was happy to own a car with a good amount of aluminum panels. Finally no rust wait now I have oxidation....Which is just as bad kinda.

Go figure my car doesn't have any rust, but my aluminum trunk lid is oxidizing and slowly bubbling. I can't win.

Milky > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman
02/13/2014 at 00:12

Hubba … please post more ….. not enough wildling around these parts.

Kinja'd!!!

Agrajag > crazedclay: SBC murderer
02/13/2014 at 10:52

You made a good decision. I took a week off of work last summer to repair the floor in my 240d. Here are the links if your interested.
http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/rust-repairs-9…

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/rust-repairs-d…

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/rust-repairs-s…

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/rust-repairs-i…

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/rust-repairs-t…

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/rust-repairs-t…

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!